Dear Mr. Bieber, (*giggle*)
First of all, I'd like you to know that this letter is an expression of my own personal thoughts and my opinion. Please look at it as something that might – or might not help you – uhm – develop.
The reason which actually made me sit to my computer and address this letter to you was a sentence you apparently were heard saying earlier this week. Rumor says you stated: "At the moment I'm pretty sexy".
I have to admit, after reading this, THAT was my reaction to your statement.
Dear Mr. Bieber. Please accept my sincere regret for believing that you don't have the slightest idea what real women believe on a man to be sexy!! (But you can be glad that megalomania doesn't cost anything and makes you feel good, doesn't it?)
Let's start with your music:
You're "famous" in the world of girls between 6 and 13. If you'd start re-thinking your "music" and quit publishing the "lovey-flirty-sweetie-teenie-weeney-whiney-super-pooper-girlie-pop-songs" you might eventually become a musician – but seriously: We women would need proof of that before we believe it. At the moment we still change the radio channel to one where MEN are singing. Sexy men, with power voices, MUSIC and either hot or pensive lyrics. Men who are in show biz for 30/40 years – real women don't care about a couple wrinkles on men. Guys with dynamite in their veins still can be hot even when being a little older – and yes, believe it or not, Mr. Bieber – SEXY! – You want an example? No problems, I easily can name you at least four without even breathing: Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Garth Brooks and one of the best voices in Rock Music and a bear of a man: Marvin Lee Aday (better known as "Meat Loaf"). That's sound, Mr. Bieber, That's power, Those are voices, That's music – That's hot and That's sexy!
I'd think you should to re-consider your statement – after you changed your diapers. Why I think you're wearing pampers the JB-special edition? *grin* – Because I think you're so full of yourself that you might be quite in danger to wet the oversized pants you wear.
If you don't agree with me, that you're limping about 10 years behind fashion trends I'd like to recommend you have a look at the singers I just mentioned: Billy Joel and Meat Loaf wear suits, The Boss and Garth Brooks prefer Jeans – but theirs fit!
No wonder seeing your 10 years-late-falling-out-of-pants-style makes me think you're hiding an embarrassing secret. *chuckle*
I as well could imagine your clothing line isn't the only embarrassing about you. I saw pics from when you just "came up". That hairstyle made me:
And then I started thinking. "Where have I seen this before? Why does it look oddly familiar to me?" – Oh – yes, I know… – and I knew:
But what I personally think is even better is the hairstyle you have now. Do you know who had a hairstyle like this? "Ice Man" – or better explained: Val Kilmer in the Movie Top Gun – and that was 1986. – From what I know that was before your DNA was even considered swimming in the heavenly pool. *grin*
You know, Mr. Bieber, what I think? Val Kilmer was by far sexier back then than you are now. At least he had something to shave.
Okay, Mr. Bieber, since it usually isn't like me to run people down 
I would suggest you a deal:
In case your name will still be known 35 years from now (which I personally don't believe, but that's only a detail), your sound became music, your lyrics start making sense, you had quit wearing pampers JB special edition, started getting a certain fashion sense, a hairstyle and a beard (not only in your face though *chuckle*), and a few wrinkles, I might re-consider that "sexiness" you've been mentioning.
Until then: take care – it's pretty dangerous to choke on self-importance.
Sincerely,
R.Y.
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Lauging Jerry mouse image to find on: http://www.a-1video.com/animation_on_film.htm
Shocked Jerry Mouse image to find on: http://www.disneyclips.com/imagesnewb6/tomandjerry.html
Justin Bieber images to find on: http://topnews.in/light/people/justin-bieber
Val Kilmer image to find on: http://coolmenshair.com/2012/01/iceman-val-kilmer-hairstyle-from-top-gun.html
mushroom image to find on: http://www.naturfoto-cz.de/maronenrohrling-foto-11504.html
